Article for the DPS

JP: unmasked

I was always told I would never be able to make it in the music industry simply because I’m a woman.

‘You play the bass? But you’re a girl!’ I was told throughout my life. I simply don’t see why that is so amazing. If a man can do it, so can I.

Losing my mother at such a young age was an odd experience, because I don’t remember her touch or her love as much as I would want to. At that time, I don’t think I was aware of what dying or cancer was, so I just spent the days with my mum as I would usually do, the place just changed from our garden to the hospital room, where she would lay in bed, hooked to a scary machine that would make noises, but one day the noises just stopped, and so did the visits. She never came home like she promised.

After I lost her, I didn’t realise what will happen, but the rest of my family were always there through that sad and confusing time.

I picked up an acoustic for the first time at the age of 8, the same year my mother passed. I recall wanting to try and play it because my mum would listen to our grandad play for hours. I would beg and whine at my grandad, asking him to teach me the basics of it. I always wanted to be like him, sometimes I even mimicked his actions! He saw my growing urge to pick up and play with instruments, he let it blossom, and I am ever so grateful for that. As I experimented with drums, I knew that wasn’t me, then, at 9, I tried electric lead, that didn’t work either. So, for my 10^th birthday, I received the gift that changed my life, a bass guitar, from a person who made me who I am, my grandpa.

From that day, I spent hours every day trying to master this beautiful and underestimated instrument, and with my granddad and my father by my side, I thought I could accomplish anything. I didn’t need any professional lessons when I had him by my side, and a year after I knew the basics and so much more: how to bolt-on-neck, humbucker, all of that was done and dusted, and knew what waited ahead and what was yet to be learned by my mentor.

All was doing well, and I continued to improve and become stronger by the day, we even formed a little band in secondary school with a few of my mates, which helped me learn what the actual place of my role was, and how it was the backbone of the band. It was all going to amazing, I felt like I was in cloud nine, until one night, it all hit rock bottom in one phone call- my grandad had died in a hit and run accident, and there was nothing that could have been done about it. No witnesses, no evidence. I was 16 when it happened, and I felt a part of my heart and soul crumble to pieces when I have found out what has happened. I started to sleep less, I missed school, I put my bass to the side for the first time. Life became black and white for me, and nothing interested me. I didn’t even notice how depression took hold of me, it didn’t matter to me at all. I was busy mourning and being selfish, I didn’t celebrate his life and I didn’t carry on his legacy. After two years did it finally hit me, that this is not what he would have wanted, so I picked up his prized four-stringer and marched outside, in the middle of a star filled night and began to play once more, and it was as if all of my hatred and sadness left me in one chord.

At that same night, I said to myself ‘Fuck it.’ I dropped out of college, which I just started, and became a self-taught full time bassist, and started to sneak out to bars at night when my father went to sleep. Usually the nights ended the same, with a boot kicking me out. But one cold night in January of 2005, I stumbled into a little bar called ‘Nightjar’ in London, and saw half a band packing up after a little show. Being hopeless at that point, I thought ‘It can’t get any worse at this point, it won’t hurt to talk.’ And so, I marched towards the two guys who were packing away what appeared to look like a lead electric and a drumkit. They picked up on grandad’s bass over my shoulder straight away, and after exchanging a few words and numbers I have gotten myself my one and only band.

Like grandpa always said ‘meet the right people, shake the right hands and you will be on your way to success.’ And I knew at that point, that someone as insignificant as us will make history.

So, we started drifting across the UK, anywhere we could: pubs, gigs, little festivals… as long as we were accepted we were on our way. I remember it as if it was yesterday: 2006. Manchester, warm July nights and we were setting up on the stage in some pub when we saw David Grohl and his whole gang sat at a table, unnoticed. My heart started pounding and I my palms sweating, I ran towards Mike and Jase and whispered: ‘Holy shit its Dave Grohl sat there! We better make an impression, play your asses off!’

And so, we got into our positions, our nerves spiralling out of control as the legendary band listened to every little note we have produced. It was the longest hour or so in my life, you could feel the tension between us, but as the time passed, we started to relax, and towards the end I was too enthralled and entangled with my role, we ended the night as usual, with little dances and jumps, moves to the beat on the scene.

As always, there were applause from the public, and as my eyes danced across the space, looking at every pleased face, my eyes interlocked with Grohl’s. It was the most intense eye contact I have ever had in my entire life. After that, there was no turning back. I had to do this. Jumping off the platform, I marched towards the infamous band and exchanged hello’s, received compliments and after a while, when both bands had a few pints and laughs, he spurted out: ‘Hey, you guys seem pretty cool, I see potential. How about we get you a recommendation?’ The moment we heard those words our eyes lit up and we became children, intoxicated with joy. To our embarrassment, we spend about half an hour thanking them. The night ended with a few exchanges of information that was that.

The next month was endless calls and performances, for the first time we performed in a real studio! After masses of improvements and endless effort, we released our first album, and it has been such a success, with my share, I have managed to help out my amazing father with paying off his debts. After the birth of the first album, the second one came along, and we are halfway through producing the third one. Not only that, we are planning on touring this year in America!

And now, when I look back at all of this, I could have been no one if it wasn’t for my family support and the amazing people that I have met during my journey, and I am ever so grateful.

So this is me, and this is my story.